March 12th

After several observations and opportunities to people-watch during my commute and daily life, I have some advice for people on how to do certain activities well:

1. How to narrate a soccer match: use terminology that includes, but is not limited to the following phrases - home safe, home attack, danger, away safe, away attack, free kick, stand-by. Be sure to speak loudly so everyone around you can hear your narration of every play they are watching take place on the field
   
2. How to make friends on the train: don't play your hip-hop music on your cell phone/mp3 player speaker while painting your nails and laughing obnoxiously loudly at your own thoughts at 7:30 in the morning. Not only does the smell of nail polish fumigate the entire coach, but your music makes everyone else want to buy a nine and bust a cap.
3. How to make people feel like sardines: place 49 of them inside an average-sized city bus (not the extra-long ones with the accordion in the middle) and feed them to corporate America.
4. How to never beat some one who is taking their time on their commute: rush. (hint hint lady with the blue rain jacket - slow down, and maybe someday you'll beat me)
5. How to be a cool white guy: don't have 50 cent sing your ring tone
   

Yes, all of these things I have learned and observed in the past 24 hours. You will be much cooler and a better commuter if you take these things in to consideration. Peace!