January 28th

Today I had quite the introduction.

My dad asked me to meet him and the VP of Sales and Account Management (aka a Big Shot from Corporate) at their office at 3:15 today and walk with them down to the Kibble & Prentice office - where I work. I was more than happy to join them. Promptly at 3:15 I arrived at their office upstairs, and when I walked in, my dad exclaimed "Alright! Our escort is here!" And I looked at him and said, "umm, I don't know if you want to be calling me an escort. There's implications in that word." Naturally the room filled with laughter as jokes about how K&P sends cute escorts to pick up their providers progressed from my dad's thoughtless, no-harm-intended, remark. Classic Jay Kirschenman. I love it.

Have a wonderful Thursday :)

January 27th

Since nothing that interesting or noteworthy has happened today so far, I thought I would share these funny album/CD covers that I have been enjoying online. I can't believe people actually use these as the covers for their music... who would ever buy them!? Enjoy :)

January 26th

Well, it has been a few days... sorry for the delay, I was moving to my new apartment! Anyways, I commute via train now, so like all public transportation, there are sure to be some good stories or things overheard... enjoy the following tidbits:

An older, but professionally dressed, woman who talked for 27 minutes without stopping to her riding group referring to her 'friend': "She has got to get it together. I mean, seriously, lay off the crack pipe."

A group of four, older women who knit together on the ride home have apparently befriended another regular rider who is a young man only 23 years old (who doesn't knit, but chats with them). He departed at the Kent station, but the ladies all remained on the train. As soon as he got off they all began talking about how sweet and charming he is and how they wish they had grandchildren or anyone old enough for him to date/marry in their families. One woman also exclaimed how not only is he nice, but he is handsome, and has a job. They talked about him the next 10 minutes until we arrived at Auburn.


Check out facebook for pictures of the new apartment! I'll be listening for more good conversations on the train each day :)

January 22nd

An email I received from a co-worker today (a joke):

SICK DAYS:We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS:Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

LUNCH BREAK:Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none.

DRESS CODE:It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week. -- Management

January 20

Today, while walking through the lobby of my office, I ran in to my dad. It was the strangest thing, because even though we currently live in the same house and sleep in rooms that are only 10 yards apart, I realized that this was the first time I'd seen him since Sunday.

I am on a first-name basis with the CEO of my company. Today, we discussed the lovely sunshine and weather. I love working here.

Also, yesterday during our packet stuffing *anonymous co-worker* was talking about the poop their former cat Calvin/Caesar left on the floor. When describing how their poop looks like their puke, she some how said it looks like cat balls. It was funny, but unfortunately, I can't remember exactly how it happened, so I can't share in it with you.


Lastly, I made it from Seattle to Fife in 35 minutes at rush hour. This included a gas station stop to fill up my 12 gallon tank with 11.5 gallons of gas. Pretty impressive. That never happens!

January 18

Text message I received tonight from a person who shall remain anonymous: "Working out is your hobby? We will see how that works out. Nothing bad about it though. As long as you are lifting weights instead of just cardio and therefore looking like you just got out of a concentration camp."


A few days ago a co-worker emailed the entire Kibble & Prentice associate team a link to the website of his wife's new cookie-making company, called Milkmakers. They are cookies with ingredients that help nursing mothers make more milk for their babies.... not going to lie, it was the most awkward email I think I have ever received... until I clicked the link, and saw the following logo:

http://milkmakers.org

January 17th

Today I found cheap plates and bowls at Pier 1 Imports. Nothing is ever cheap there.


Prayers for Haiti. Please donate whatever you can spare to your favorite, trustworthy charity participating in the relief efforts there. Also, prayer is powerful, so don't take it for granted and together lets lift up our brothers and sisters there.

Today at church a missionary spoke about his orphanage ministry in Russia. Today, there are 3.5 million orphans in orphanages in Russia. That is more than any other country in the world by far. Please be praying for them and looking for opportunities and ways to care for the orphans and widows around the world. This is our calling, to be His hands and feet on all the earth. Let's get to work church...

I know I said this blog was to make us laugh, but the past few days a lot has happened to cause me to reflect on all that I am blessed with. May God's blessing and provision in your life bring you joy and laughter and delight today :)

January 16th

Today at Brent's I was complaining about how I was having an ugly day and would really appreciate having a bag to wear over my head. Then, about ten minutes later we were just sitting there and Brent was staring at me and I said "what?" and he goes "I'm just staring at your ugly face." Thanks Brent, thanks.

January 15

Sad news today friends... this morning I found out that one of my co-workers, Brian, passed away unexpectedly yesterday. Please be praying for Brian, his family, and his teammates here at K&P. We will miss having him around each day...

Life is precious, so don't take any of it or anyone in it for granted.


Interesting fact of the day, courtesy of Brent: Vitamin B12 is essential for the effective assimilation of iron, therefore, if you are deficient in B12 you will never assimilate your iron effectively and will be displaying symptoms of iron deficiency anaemia ie ~ dizzy spells, loss of balance, fatigue and exhaustion and fainting.

January 14

... on the way in to work this morning, I heard this on the radio:

"Studies show that even if a person has low body weight, they are 80% more likely to develop heart disease by watching 4 hours or more of television per day. They credit this to the fact that the inactivity of sitting all day at the office, then coming home to sit in front of the television, is bad for a person's body sugar and blood fat." - The Stat Man, 100.7 The Wolf, 7:15 a.m.


.... at work this morning I switched my co-worker Ashley's computer monitors around and took the ball out of her mouse. When she arrived to work, this is what I heard:

"My computer is frozen!!!" .... 2-3 minutes pass... "Did Moon take the ball out of my mouse?!" .... then I gave her the ball back. Another minute or two passes then I hear:
"What the heck is wrong with my computer? Emmalyn, did you do this?! How do I fix it?!"
Little did I know that my fun pranking would be the cause of such distress.... if only I had a blog yesterday, then I could tell you about how I came back from a meeting to find Ashley and Laura changing my phone ringer to a creepy seductive one and putting it to the highest volume... This may be the beginning of a long battle of work pranks.


Quote of the day: "Well, it must be fun in Never Never Land. Maybe I'll come visit you sometime when I need a break from reality!" Grumpier Old Men