August 2nd

As I sat at my desk today, burning my mouth more and more with every bite of my microwaved leftovers, I wondered how it was possible that blowing on your food cooled it? I thought heat was the resulting reaction of particles speeding up, so wouldn't blowing on your food make it hotter? So, I decided to google it. Check out: forced convection. Seriously interesting!

Also....

Remember a few months back how I saw a woman getting arrested on the way to church? Well, yesterday, after church, Brent and I had brunch with his uncle & aunt and as we sat at the table I noticed some police activity happening across the street. Just then, they bring some woman around the back of the car and put her in cuffs and she is carted off to the clink. Women beware - you get arrested on Sundays!

July 30th

July 26th

Tonight I will eat a salad with lettuce, carrots, and sugar-snap peas from my very own garden! Yah!

July 8th

This week marks my 1 year anniversary at my job.

This week I also received this notice from my bank:
This is an Alert to help manage your account ending in ****.
The account available balance is $X,XXX.XX which is less than the minimum balance of $X,XXX.XX in your alerts settings.

I am depressed by this.

:-(

June 16th

Today, a good friend of mine stopped by to drop something off for my co-worker as a sort of "secret" gift. We devised the plan of a secret admirer and I created a note to stick on the package (covered name with a post-it for security purposes online!). Then, I went into their office and told them I'd found it in my cube like this:

And yes, the exclamation point is a heart instead of a dot.

The cool thing about this convertable chair, is not only the fact that it is from the 60's or something, but it has never been opened, so it's like brand new! When I brought it to the co-worker they were very suspicious of it and told me it was meant for some one else. I told them it suits them perfectly with a tackle, drink, and pole holder. It practically fishes for you! They even give you diagrams illustrating how to use it best:

After staring at it in a strange way, my co-worker informed me they were very suspicious of this package and they said unless it is full of beer, it isn't going to do for them. So, if they decides they doesn't want it, I think I'll take it down to the Antique Roadshow. They're coming in town soon, actually! It's got to be worth something! It's not even in mint condition - its new! At the moment, it is sitting in my co-worker's office on their extra chair staring at them... uncomfortably.


On a side note... when in the heck is it going to get sunny around here? Honestly.

June 7th

So, Brent is in San Jose this week at a conference, and he informed me that the wall he faces while lying on his bed in his hotel room features the above superior artwork. I hope he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night, groggy and disoriented, only to look up and see this thing prowling towards him... Really, hotel? THINK about the artwork you choose to display in your rooms! :-)

June 4th

"It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever know." -Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities


...yes, that was a very great adventure - and shockingly relevant.

A Tale of Two Cities

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only." A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

I can tell this book is going to be an awesome adventure... and curiously relevant.

Adventures on the way to work

On my way in this morning I was standing at the corner waiting for the light to change so I could cross the street when a man began barfing in the public trashcan a few feet away from me. Not my idea of a great start to the work day.

A Day in the Life of a Seagull

Sulley the Seagull was not as sullen as his name implied. In fact, he was a quite arduous and energetic winged rat. Cunning and mysterious, he would fly around all day, looking to manage as much mischief as possible. However, on this particular day, he perched precisely upon the little ledge outside the Klickitat Conference Room windows. It was fate that brought their worlds together, both Sulley’s and the packet stuffing crew. The group never worked in this conference room, and it had recently been moved to this new corner space beside the perch Sulley landed on. When he arrived, the group was excited by one particular person’s announcement that “we have a friend!” Sulley pretended not to notice the group of ladies admiring him from so close up inside the building. He had a look around, scratched his itches, and took off on his way, being sure to spread his wings as far as they would span in order to impress the ladies. It was going to be a good day for both him and the ladies of the Klickitat Conference Room Packet Stuffing Party.

March 31st

30 inch bugs exist. That is disgusting. Sign of the times. This thing could kill me.

In other news, I saw two different men riding unicycles. One in downtown Seattle, one in Auburn. More than you imagined... that is for sure.

March 26th

Have you ever seen a sign like this? Me either... until this morning, when I walked straight in to one on my way to work. First, I overslept, then ran out of the house leaving my delicious lunch in the fridge, and then in my haste to get to the office, as I was walking and looking around enjoying the city-scape, I walked BAM right into a pole with a parking sign on it. Yeah, the kind that make a loud BOONNNNGGGG sound when you hit them. So everyone around me was like "are you okay!" and "wow! you really nailed that thing!" Pretty much at that moment I wished the pole had either killed me or knocked me unconcious so I wouldn't have to face the astonished onlookers. Yeah, it's been that kind of day... all before 9 a.m.

March 23rd

Nothing extraordinary to report. I did see a man feeding ducks in Auburn yesterday evening by the airport. There were AT LEAST 200 ducks surrounding him. He looked a little overwhelmed. Tonight I'll drive by the same place to see if he's there with his feathered flock again and try to snap a picture. Like the signs say, Auburn is more than I imagined.

March 16th

My adventure this morning:

Began with a lovely view of the sunrise from the top of my commuter parking garage.

Then led me on a wild ride on a psychedelic bus tour of all the bus stops on fourth avenue, which are all closed.

And ended with me nearly being stuck on the 510 Express to Everett, but by some miracle, I only had to hike to work from somewhere on the North end of Capital Hill. Can I just say, I am thankful more days don’t start out like this one (minus the beautiful sunrise)?

March 15th

Yesterday I went to the Museum of Flight with my wonderful boyfriend and they launched me into outer space. He took this picture for me :)

March 12th

After several observations and opportunities to people-watch during my commute and daily life, I have some advice for people on how to do certain activities well:

1. How to narrate a soccer match: use terminology that includes, but is not limited to the following phrases - home safe, home attack, danger, away safe, away attack, free kick, stand-by. Be sure to speak loudly so everyone around you can hear your narration of every play they are watching take place on the field
   
2. How to make friends on the train: don't play your hip-hop music on your cell phone/mp3 player speaker while painting your nails and laughing obnoxiously loudly at your own thoughts at 7:30 in the morning. Not only does the smell of nail polish fumigate the entire coach, but your music makes everyone else want to buy a nine and bust a cap.
3. How to make people feel like sardines: place 49 of them inside an average-sized city bus (not the extra-long ones with the accordion in the middle) and feed them to corporate America.
4. How to never beat some one who is taking their time on their commute: rush. (hint hint lady with the blue rain jacket - slow down, and maybe someday you'll beat me)
5. How to be a cool white guy: don't have 50 cent sing your ring tone
   

Yes, all of these things I have learned and observed in the past 24 hours. You will be much cooler and a better commuter if you take these things in to consideration. Peace!

March 9th

Death toll: 11 fish lost

RIP: Squid, Thing 1, Thing 2, Aladdin, Lady, Prince Eric, Emmalyn, Brent, Emmalyn II, Sunshine, and Tangerine

Yesterday, while driving to the grocery store from the train station, I passed this Karate center in Auburn. What you can't see in this picture, is what this post is all about... so, I'm sitting at the red light and I read the yellow window stickers, and one of them says "Learn 7 to 15 times faster". I'm just curious, how do you measure that? Haha!

March 8th

I know he made a recent appearance on my blog, but I couldn't resist sharing this picture I took of him this weekend. Myles is the best :)

March 5th

Today I completed my very first Rubik's cube! I must be honest, I was only able to complete and orient the top layer all on my own. I relied on a few other people's algorithms to finish the bottom two layers, so I didn't solve it entirely on my own. However, even with a few extra-helps, this thing was tricky. I have a much better idea of how it works now, so that is nice. It involves memorizing strategic moving patterns and repeating them over and over. I'm going to buy a new cube and work on memorizing so I can do a whole cube all on my own! Anyways, all those kids who can solve it in like 1 minute, it took me like 3.5 hours, so there! Woohoo! Check this one off the bucket list! Yah!

March 4th

You would never guess that these two pups aren't related. Gus is 2 and lives in Arizona and Myles is 1 and lives in Washington. Maybe they're long lost relatives? They look like twins! So handsome!

Myles

Gus

February 26th

As many of you know, I am not a huge fan of cats. Yet, I still found these very humorous!

February 25th

Funny article I found this morning in the Seattle Times. Some people just weren't born to be criminals...

Cops: Fla. thieves overheard after misdialing 911

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. —
Police say two Florida teenagers are facing charges after 911 dispatchers heard them talking about breaking into cars when one teen's cell phone accidentally called 911 during a heist.
Daytona Beach police say 19-year-old Stefanie Vargas and a 13-year-old boy are charged with burglary to a conveyance.
Police spokesman Jimmie Flynt says dispatchers listened as the pair discussed what was worth taking while rummaging though a vehicle parked near a Daytona Beach nightclub early Sunday.
Officers went to the area and spotted the boy inside a vehicle. A police report says the pair tried to flee in a sport utility vehicle driven by Vargas. The report says both admitted to the robbery.
It's unclear how the number got dialed.

_________________________________________________________________________

Also, another humorous thing I found on some random blog

today:

This week's word: palmifer - fera, -ferumabounding in palm trees.

How to use this word in daily life:

1. As a compliment - "My what a palmifer garden you have! I've never seen so many palms in one place."

2. As a pick-up line - "Baby, if your love is a palm tree and my heart is a garden, then I would have one palmifer garden."

3. In a noir detective novel - "And then she walked in. That dame had more trouble in her than palms in an oasis: a palmifer oasis..."

February 19th

How I spent my Valentines Day weekend...
1. Watching the Olympic opening ceremonies with a wonderful friend,
2. Having lunch with other wonderful friends,
3. Falling on Brent's parent's driveway, bruising my knee and tearing open my finger,
4. Playing with a chainsaw,
5. Having a huge lunch in Olympia,
6. Pressure washing for 2 straight hours (by flashlight when it got dark),
7. Running errands and shopping for a television,
8. Enduring the death of all 9 of my fish,
9. Not going to the aquarium,
10. Having the best time ever with my wonderful Brent!!! Though my list may not seem like it, I did have a great weekend!

Here is a brief snapshot Brent took on Saturday:

February 13th

Sorry for the lack of posts, not much interesting or unusual going on. However, the other night while driving home from the pet store with my new fish and light fixture for the tank, I came across a humorous city sign. It said, "Welcome to Auburn" across the top, and then in smaller font beneath said, "More than You Imagined..."

I am pretty sure there is nothing exciting or unique about this little town in the valley, so I am pretty sure this is the most awkward city sign I've ever seen. I wish I had a picture of it... maybe next time?

February 9th

Don't judge a book by it's cover, for many reasons. For example, today I had lunch (teriyaki chicken and steamed rice bowl) that was made in the kitchen of a convenience store, which was located in the entrance of a downtown Seattle parking garage structure (5th and Seneca). It was simply delicious.

February 7th

This morning, on my way to church, I witnessed a woman being arrested. It's not every day you see this happen in real life. It was intimidating! I wonder if I live in a dangerous area?

February 5th

Today is a good day. Woke up right on time, feeling pretty rested. Had a nice train ride in to work. Read my brain book and learned all about the basal ganglia (yesterday I learned all about the deep limbic system part of the brain). I have an overactive basal ganglia. If you want to know more about what potentially could be wrong with your brain, let me know and I'll be happy to diagnose you.

Anyways, then I got in to work and myself and a few co-workers headed to Starbucks where our delightful CEO and founder of our company treated us to our morning drinks. Can I just say that it is so neat to work for a company whose founder and CEO would take the time to buy us all coffee on a Friday morning? How nice. That is something that definitely doesn't happen every day, and as Ashley put it this morning, is "definitely blog-worthy!" Thanks Arnie for the wonderful passion tea lemonade this morning :)

Just received the best gift... Thank you Eleni for entrusting me with this runny nose! I will be sure to look after him!

PS: Brent, happy 1 year and 1 month! Haha!

February 4th

On our way out to lunch at Chipotle today, Jenifer and I were greeting with an excited "Welcome Aboard!" as we got on to the elevator. The gentleman let us know he would be our captain for the duration of our descent. He was a very good elevator captain...

February 2nd

The view from my park and ride lot this morning:

Sorry for the poor quality, cell phone, but you get the idea. If it weren't for the beautiful sunrises each morning, I'd say the view from where I sit has been a tad gray lately. Searching for purpose and meaning in a world run by time and money...

_

February 1st

This morning on the train ride in to work, a very metro young man sitting next to me was listening to music on his headphones on his smart phone. I'm not sure if he realized it or not, but the headphones weren't exactly working right, and he was playing techno music out of the speaker phone pretty loudly. I don't know about you, but techno club dance music is not something I prefer to listen to at 7:20 in the morning! Needless to say, I don't know which was funnier, the kid playing music for the whole train car, or the fact that not a single person (myself included) alerted him to his situation. Despite some annoyed glances tossed over shoulders, he never caught on...

But this was only the beginning. I thought this could be the most interesting thing about my day, until a few minutes ago, one of my sweet, older gentlemen co-workers informed me that he liked my new sweater (according to him, it makes me look collegiate and preppy) and that I smelled very nice and he asked what it was. I told him it must be my shampoo, because I don't think I put any perfume on today. Then he proceeded to tell me that maybe it was just my "natural horomonal discharge." I have never received a more awkward compliment in my entire life. He has such a sweet heart and only good intentions, so I knew what he meant, but we both shared a real good laugh regarding the grossness of what he just said...

I can't wait to see what the rest of the day holds in store....

So I just got out of a team meeting, during which I had the hiccups for about 20 minutes of. Extremely uncomfortable to hold in or keep quiet. It was like the elephant in the room. Everyone could hear them, everyone could see me bounce with each one, but no one ever laughed with me or said a word about it...

January 28th

Today I had quite the introduction.

My dad asked me to meet him and the VP of Sales and Account Management (aka a Big Shot from Corporate) at their office at 3:15 today and walk with them down to the Kibble & Prentice office - where I work. I was more than happy to join them. Promptly at 3:15 I arrived at their office upstairs, and when I walked in, my dad exclaimed "Alright! Our escort is here!" And I looked at him and said, "umm, I don't know if you want to be calling me an escort. There's implications in that word." Naturally the room filled with laughter as jokes about how K&P sends cute escorts to pick up their providers progressed from my dad's thoughtless, no-harm-intended, remark. Classic Jay Kirschenman. I love it.

Have a wonderful Thursday :)

January 27th

Since nothing that interesting or noteworthy has happened today so far, I thought I would share these funny album/CD covers that I have been enjoying online. I can't believe people actually use these as the covers for their music... who would ever buy them!? Enjoy :)

January 26th

Well, it has been a few days... sorry for the delay, I was moving to my new apartment! Anyways, I commute via train now, so like all public transportation, there are sure to be some good stories or things overheard... enjoy the following tidbits:

An older, but professionally dressed, woman who talked for 27 minutes without stopping to her riding group referring to her 'friend': "She has got to get it together. I mean, seriously, lay off the crack pipe."

A group of four, older women who knit together on the ride home have apparently befriended another regular rider who is a young man only 23 years old (who doesn't knit, but chats with them). He departed at the Kent station, but the ladies all remained on the train. As soon as he got off they all began talking about how sweet and charming he is and how they wish they had grandchildren or anyone old enough for him to date/marry in their families. One woman also exclaimed how not only is he nice, but he is handsome, and has a job. They talked about him the next 10 minutes until we arrived at Auburn.


Check out facebook for pictures of the new apartment! I'll be listening for more good conversations on the train each day :)

January 22nd

An email I received from a co-worker today (a joke):

SICK DAYS:We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

PERSONAL DAYS:Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

VACATION DAYS:All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE:Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

LUNCH BREAK:Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sondra gets none.

DRESS CODE:It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week. -- Management

January 20

Today, while walking through the lobby of my office, I ran in to my dad. It was the strangest thing, because even though we currently live in the same house and sleep in rooms that are only 10 yards apart, I realized that this was the first time I'd seen him since Sunday.

I am on a first-name basis with the CEO of my company. Today, we discussed the lovely sunshine and weather. I love working here.

Also, yesterday during our packet stuffing *anonymous co-worker* was talking about the poop their former cat Calvin/Caesar left on the floor. When describing how their poop looks like their puke, she some how said it looks like cat balls. It was funny, but unfortunately, I can't remember exactly how it happened, so I can't share in it with you.


Lastly, I made it from Seattle to Fife in 35 minutes at rush hour. This included a gas station stop to fill up my 12 gallon tank with 11.5 gallons of gas. Pretty impressive. That never happens!

January 18

Text message I received tonight from a person who shall remain anonymous: "Working out is your hobby? We will see how that works out. Nothing bad about it though. As long as you are lifting weights instead of just cardio and therefore looking like you just got out of a concentration camp."


A few days ago a co-worker emailed the entire Kibble & Prentice associate team a link to the website of his wife's new cookie-making company, called Milkmakers. They are cookies with ingredients that help nursing mothers make more milk for their babies.... not going to lie, it was the most awkward email I think I have ever received... until I clicked the link, and saw the following logo:

http://milkmakers.org

January 17th

Today I found cheap plates and bowls at Pier 1 Imports. Nothing is ever cheap there.


Prayers for Haiti. Please donate whatever you can spare to your favorite, trustworthy charity participating in the relief efforts there. Also, prayer is powerful, so don't take it for granted and together lets lift up our brothers and sisters there.

Today at church a missionary spoke about his orphanage ministry in Russia. Today, there are 3.5 million orphans in orphanages in Russia. That is more than any other country in the world by far. Please be praying for them and looking for opportunities and ways to care for the orphans and widows around the world. This is our calling, to be His hands and feet on all the earth. Let's get to work church...

I know I said this blog was to make us laugh, but the past few days a lot has happened to cause me to reflect on all that I am blessed with. May God's blessing and provision in your life bring you joy and laughter and delight today :)

January 16th

Today at Brent's I was complaining about how I was having an ugly day and would really appreciate having a bag to wear over my head. Then, about ten minutes later we were just sitting there and Brent was staring at me and I said "what?" and he goes "I'm just staring at your ugly face." Thanks Brent, thanks.

January 15

Sad news today friends... this morning I found out that one of my co-workers, Brian, passed away unexpectedly yesterday. Please be praying for Brian, his family, and his teammates here at K&P. We will miss having him around each day...

Life is precious, so don't take any of it or anyone in it for granted.


Interesting fact of the day, courtesy of Brent: Vitamin B12 is essential for the effective assimilation of iron, therefore, if you are deficient in B12 you will never assimilate your iron effectively and will be displaying symptoms of iron deficiency anaemia ie ~ dizzy spells, loss of balance, fatigue and exhaustion and fainting.

January 14

... on the way in to work this morning, I heard this on the radio:

"Studies show that even if a person has low body weight, they are 80% more likely to develop heart disease by watching 4 hours or more of television per day. They credit this to the fact that the inactivity of sitting all day at the office, then coming home to sit in front of the television, is bad for a person's body sugar and blood fat." - The Stat Man, 100.7 The Wolf, 7:15 a.m.


.... at work this morning I switched my co-worker Ashley's computer monitors around and took the ball out of her mouse. When she arrived to work, this is what I heard:

"My computer is frozen!!!" .... 2-3 minutes pass... "Did Moon take the ball out of my mouse?!" .... then I gave her the ball back. Another minute or two passes then I hear:
"What the heck is wrong with my computer? Emmalyn, did you do this?! How do I fix it?!"
Little did I know that my fun pranking would be the cause of such distress.... if only I had a blog yesterday, then I could tell you about how I came back from a meeting to find Ashley and Laura changing my phone ringer to a creepy seductive one and putting it to the highest volume... This may be the beginning of a long battle of work pranks.


Quote of the day: "Well, it must be fun in Never Never Land. Maybe I'll come visit you sometime when I need a break from reality!" Grumpier Old Men